i think my mom watched the whole time
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
