Jerry, you need to find god
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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