I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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