Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize