Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
