She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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