You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
