how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
