i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
