She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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