That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
