You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
