Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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