I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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