i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
