he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
