What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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