The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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