If that was your dad, he is hot
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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