Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize