super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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