do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
