I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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