that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
