I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
