just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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