id be glad to
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
