I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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