Me too!
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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