And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
