i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
