i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
