i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
