Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
