I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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