mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
