this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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