the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
