...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I have post one night stand depression
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize