guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
