According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
