i just google imaged poop.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
