I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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