She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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