He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
