i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
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