I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
