i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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