Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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