YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
