Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
