I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
