i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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