people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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