How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
