Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
