think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
