Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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