we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
