So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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