Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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