Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
