Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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