Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
