i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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