but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
