I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
