I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
