the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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