how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
