He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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