I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
