its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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