i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
