I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
God, I missed his penis.
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