i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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