her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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