i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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