So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
